QotD: Guest vs. Host

For a full sit-down dinner with several guests, would you rather be the one cooking or do you prefer to just show up and eat?

I prefer to host because then I know what I'm doing.

Growing up, my family never expected the kids to pitch in and certainly people who were married into, like a daughter-in-law, just had to mind their children and have conversation while the host was cooking the meal. The host was maybe helped by a sister or sister-in-law, but these are people who are there constantly.

When I accompanied my ex-husband to his family dinners, I was expected to pitch in. Foolish me just tended my children and tried to provide good conversation. They never liked me, anyway. See that entry about going to Hawaii. They were, and still are, a very bizarre group of people who live within their own reality.

I thought I'd learned better when I accompanied my daughter's father to his family's holiday dinners, but his sister-in-law was pretty firm in elbowing me out of the way. She really couldn't have been subtle if she tried! There was something odd about that woman and Lord only knows what. It couldn't have possibly had anything to do with my daughter's father constantly bashing me to his family to a point where only his aunt, and I do still love Aunt Carolyn, welcomed me with open arms. She is such a lovely, warm person and I thank God for her because she was my sanity every time I had to deal with that family. Anyway, I knew I should help but was physically kept from it, unless I was willing to punch the sister-in-law in the face and stuff her in the closet so I could walk into the kitchen without getting pushed out. Maybe that's why my daughter's father's new wife gets along in that family so well, she hits! I should clarify that by the third year, I was "allowed" to help clean up!

This year, the hosts are my in-laws but the dinner is at a local restaurant so all the previous pressures are gone.

I still prefer to host because then I can delegate tasks to the people who want to help and I am in control. People aren't judging me for what I am and am not doing and I have the ability to just produce a delicious feast for everyone to enjoy. I don't judge the people who don't help and am perfectly fine with them only providing conversation. I like the ability to be creative with the food and the decorating.

I wish we could afford to host more often.