6 posts tagged “exes”

Bailey shows off her family drawing

The teacher labeled the people, including several non-existent pets that were included at the bottom of the picture that weren't in frame of the photograph. Bailey added her father as an after-thought, which is why he doesn't have a label. Seeing him as an after-thought for her when asked to create a family picture, and seeing how she'd deliberately left him off her Family Tree project, makes me wonder what she is responding to. I've had continuing problems with him and his wife doing the whole ugly parent alienation thing and, what's more is he's paranoid about what I'm saying about him to a point where he's accusing me of things I've never said or done. Apparently, asking my daughter how her weekend was is a horrible, awful thing that's done for the sole purpose of hurting him... not because I missed my daughter and want to hear about her weekend away from home or anything. I'm telling ya.

Bailey's father's inability to act responsibly has become a problem. Every simple matter is complicated for the sake of creating an argument until it becomes absolutely necessary for me to just make a decision rather than consult with him and reach a compromise through mature discussion. I offered him Christmas 2007 because the travel during the holidays had postponed our Christmas celebration. Instead of taking it, he argued with me, made a lot of unnecessary conditions, and then accused me recently of never allowing him to have extra time with our daughter. His lack of financial responsibility was supposed to end when he signed the Income Deduction Order but then has refused to hand the IDO to his employer, prefering to pay child support mid-month at less than the ordered amount. Every issue is an argument where he wants to include a dozen or more irrelevant and bizarrely misinterpreted issues, and it just becomes a big, unproductive headache.

Parking lot line

Our visitation pick-up/drop-off is exactly in between the two residences, because he claimed he couldn't spare the fuel or time expense to pick her up from or drop her off at her home, but continuously comes up to my home, or meets at her school which only a mile away for extra, unnecessary things that he decides have to be discussed face-to-face. Their popular recreational spot is South Venice Beach, which requires going past my home. He refuses to take her to CCD on Sunday so she must go on Wednesday, making it impossible for Michael and Eddie to participate in Scouts, because he has his own church functions, but has stopped going to church since the agreed order was entered and appearances were no longer necessary. She's often dressed inappropriately, given worn handmedowns and used toys from her step-sister while her step-sister receives new, left unwatched and unattended, he neglects to comply with the telephone visitation that's been ordered, and her hair is cut unevenly by her step-mother to "get even with" me over some photo album that's not even here (but apparently I've hidden it). It gets more and more insane.

I just don't agree with having Shared Parental Responsibility, which is called Joint Legal Custody everywhere else, because of the sheer impossibility of dealing with this man about any issue. He seems so preoccupied with making sure he gets his, or that everything is cut down the middle according to his perception, that he completely misses what's best for Bailey. And if Bailey's considers him outside of her family... what am I fighting to accomplish?

And to lighten the mood, here's a picture of my dog:

Indiana

Happy Birthday to my mother. I don't think my card got to her in time so I left a message for her. That's more than what I usually remember to do for adults, but since it really seems to matter to her, I made sure to get it done this year. This year is a big year for her, too.

My youngest step-daughter is with us this weekend and her mother is having another useless and unnecessary dramatised freak-out over a hobby of mine that's neither illegal nor inappropriate, has nothing to do with her daughter, and I haven't been able to do in over a year. Way to pick your battles, lady. At some point the pot is going to boil over and Tom and I are just going to laugh at this woman's consistent ridiculousness.

Praying Hands

This neglected hobby is that I'll take a stroll through cemeteries when I have time, taking artistic pictures and running a digital recorder to see if I capture any electronic voice phenomenon [EVP]. You don't know if you've captured an EVP, or a disembodied voice, until you listen to the recording later. Many investigators ask questions, stay in one spot, and have a very controlled situation while they're recording for EVPs. Since I'm just taking a stroll through a beautiful cemetery on a beautiful day, I don't fuss too much. As a result, my EVPs aren't meant to be used as actual paranormal evidence but are categorised as more "hobby". It doesn't take much to press record on the digital recorder so I'm far more interested in taking photographs, like the praying hands featured here.

While there's debate on who his oldest daughter should be speaking to about his life, our primary lapse of manners happened when Tom misappropriated my evps for a more focused paranormal website without my permission. If that had not happened, they would not have been available for anyone in his curious circle to have seen. I've remedied that situation. Mind you, I don't mind anyone visiting my Photo Blog or my deviantArt store. By all means!

Both Bailey and Eddie are behaving in school and receiving rewards. I was hoping that Bailey's bout with bad behavior earlier this week was a part of adjusting to a new structured educational environment and that does seem to be the case. Eddie continues to perform well academically and has found his long-lost math book. Thanks to Gard Music in North Port, Michael now has his percussion kit and is ready to begin band on Monday!

It's amazing how many things can be left up in the air despite laws of gravity. Most of it blisters with insanity because I cannot control time and space to make the impossible possible on a whim.

We're shampooing the carpets this weekend and preparing the den for my mother to have a space of her own during her visit when she brings the boys home in ten days.

The boys are scheduled to have their baptisms on August 26th. Everything has already been done to make that possible and the only thing I have left to do is provide a copy of my Judgment Order that shows I have sole custody of Michael and Eddie. This is so there is no contest from the father or liability of the Church in their baptisms. People actually do sue over these things.

Bailey's father wanted her early today because he had a dinner party at six with the pastor from the church they've started going to. He's a deadbeat that's thousands in arrears but he can afford to have a dinner party and wants to show off his parenting with the daughter he's a deadbeat over? He also only gave me a day's notice while planning this for an evening and a time that's already designated as a visitation exchange time. He expects me to accommodate him with whatever he asks but he can't actually structure his life with any proper considerations. We arrived at the visitation spot on time at six. When we got there, he was wearing a sleeveless shirt. I guess that's his dressed up.

My ex-husband's child support order was reduced from $73/week to $50/week, retroactive to 6/9/2007 and giving "compensation for $113". The petition was first heard before the court on 7/2/2007 and decided on 7/16/2007 and he hasn't paid any child support since April and was still working on arrears from not having bothered to pay for most of 2006.

Two children: $50/week.

The family court of Dupage County, Illinois supports losers and encourages deadbeat dads.

Communication with Michael and Eddie continues to be strained, including incidents of my ex-husband taking the phone from my youngest son and hanging up.

The Baptisms are scheduled as planned without anything left to do. Michael and Eddie will have their baptisms scheduled after they return from Chicago. The Baptismal Coordinator assures me that they will not be delayed from entering Religious Education this fall if scheduling doesn't work out to baptise them before beginning. I hate that the world has to accomodate my children's fathers instead of them fitting into the groove with everyone else. I am very grateful that the world has been accomodating.

Not everyone has the same compassion or Christianity in them so I greatly appreciate it when it's there.

Both my sister-in-laws are set to attend the Baptisms, as well as my mother-in-law and father-in-law. I am very pleased that family can set aside their religious differences to support Tommy and Bailey's baptisms. Bailey's father will also be attending and has provided the required letter of consent for the Church.

I am hoping that I can arrange for Michael and Eddie's baptisms to happen on August 19, the Sunday immediately following them coming home. I think it would be nice for my mother to remain in town to see them baptised since she is bringing them home. Since I am their sole-custodial parent, I don't need a consent letter from my ex-husband.

Michael and Eddie are on their way to Chicago with my ex-husband and I had to call for police help in allowing me contact with the boys. Because I am the sole-custodial parent, I have unlimited telephone visitation between the hours of 8am and 9pm Central while they are on visitations. The police had to do a remote wellbeing check to pressure them to do the right thing and allow the boys to call me. I think they had more to chat with Tom about tonight than they did me. I was jealous, but I was extremely relieved that they were okay. A lot of thanks to the Warrenville Police Department!

Bailey and Tommy will be baptised this Sunday after 9am Mass. I had to get a letter from Bailey's dad consenting to the baptism. He will be attending. Apparently now he has a new soft underbelly thanks to counseling. Unfortunately, he missed the whole point and purpose of the apologising step and is just as self-centered as he always was.

We took Anna home this evening. She's supposed to return for another few days in early August, I think. I'll have to recheck that.

I find some Catholicism forums grotesquely amusing when people, who don't have children and are five minutes grown from being children themselves, start pontificating on how IVF and rape are logically comparable in unacceptable forms of procreation. What? And we wonder why people think Catholics are crazy cultists who want to control uteruses!

I'm feeling a great loss without all of my children here.

I took the girls and Tommy up to the agricultural acres in North Port for them to see the horses and farms. While we were clomping the minivan along unpaved roads, we came across four does and a buck. Once the girls finally saw the deer, they were ecstatic. I wish my camera had batteries. I could have made money from those shots. It was a nice experience to see them roaming free and unafraid. At first I thought the deer were really young since the buck's rack was barely anything at all. Tom later explained to me that Florida deer are small, scrawny and have minimum points. They were still very beautiful.